Growing, Not Grown: The Process Of Being A Creator

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There is something rather confusing and profound about writing a story that not everyone gets to experience. It was something I didn’t actually even realize until recently. I was having one of those personal reflection moments—exhausting, don’t get me started on self examination!—and was thinking how I really don’t think of myself as funny. At all. Then I read over a part of a book I’m currently writing and burst out laughing.

Because it was funny.

This did not, for whatever reason, alter my previous thought about my ability to be funny. I still don’t really think I’m a funny person. My characters, on the other hand, they can be funny. Either I am completely disassociated from the reality of my ability to be funny, or I just can’t comprehend my own humor from the seat of my brain, or maybe, just maybe, writing allows for another option. To create something more than you.

Getting Stuck

Part of the difficulty of sharing your art—let’s be honest, like the biggest damn problem—is the feelings of vulnerability you experience before, during, and sometimes long after. Your creation is a part of you. It was built from your experiences, data that you took in then worked your hands, imagination, and soul around, and then put out into the world. And when you understand that (or even when you don’t) there can be this internal pressure to keep it all inside and not dare let your creation free for fear that it will be judged, torn apart, and with it so will you.

The ego can be so very fragile—or at least, we can perceive it to be. Because for some people, when their ego is hit, they just stop. The feeling is too uncomfortable and they would rather not feel that way than put themselves out there again. Other people, they can do it for a little bit but then reach a point where they can’t go any further.

Maybe they tell themselves the first few creations are practice and with that, they allow themselves to fail, to not be perfect, to accept that criticism is to be expected and it’s not a judgment of them but a sign of where they are in their craft. From this vantage, these people create and they grow. Then comes the point where, for whatever reason, they decide they’re no longer practicing. They’re a professional, or worse, they should be a professional by this point.

Well, if they ‘should be,’ then in their mind they’ve already failed by not being. And if they’re a professional now, they’re not allowed to make mistakes. Criticism is now death; they need to be perfect and everyone should be able to see it. Maybe they struggle through, adapting by losing the love and joy they put into their art. They’re professionals; it’s not about them, it’s about creating a ‘product.’ It’s not a piece of them, it’s a smart pattern repeated to make sales. In this way, they protect themselves from that sting of vulnerability but even though they’re producing, they’re not creating anymore. They stopped, it’s just harder to see. Continue reading →

Reward Your Erotica Readers

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Make a habit with your readers, an unspoken agreement. That way every time you put out a new story, they know they’re going to be rewarded for reading. Here are a few of my rewards I like to give my readers.

Pique their curiosity

Give them a story, a relationship, something beyond just sex. Oh, don’t get me wrong, in erotic writing, sex is damn important. But consider a serial reader, someone that’s consuming a dozen erotic shorts when they have some free time. Everything starts blurring together in a swirl of limbs and sweat and the same old hookup. Give them something that’s going to make them stop and smile, or remember you the next time. Hook them with a plot point or a really amazing character. Give them a new world that can be seen in the background of all that grinding.

Just because there are a million erotic shorts out there that all seem to look the same, doesn’t mean you need to bow to the masses. That stuff is already written. Contribute something new and be remembered because of it. Just because you’re writing smut doesn’t mean you’re not creating something of value. Write something that you’ll value and you’ll find the readers that will as well.

Emotional attachment

When your characters are invested, your reader is as well. It might surprise to hear I do this given I don’t indulge in a lot of sickly sweet romance bullshit writing. But I still try to write an attachment to my characters even if they manage to be able to breathe without their lover holding their hand twenty-four seven. (I may have issues with a lot of unrealistic romance XD) I feel this helps fuel the passion in a story and gives the reader more investment when they see the characters are invested. My erotic relationships may not be normal, or really healthy by any means in a lot of stories, but when a character still craves the affection and feels satisfied by it, the reader picks up on it and mirrors it as well.

This is why I don’t write sex scenes where the characters are actually disinterested in the sex. I’ve read a few straight to gay novels where the ‘straight’ character has a sexual encounter and doesn’t feel a thing. And hey, maybe it’s ‘realistic’ or some shit, but it was also boring as fuck to have them go through the motions and not want to be there. It made me not want to be there reading. It’s like reading about someone going to work, doing work things without any emotional interest at all. Why would I pay to read that, like, ever? I don’t want to go through that. I’d rather read about them bitching then being bored.

Keep the tension going

Keep your reader engaged. This can be done easily with either the tension in the plot (yes, there can be a plot in erotica) or the emotional tension between characters. When stories are too easy, people get bored. They already know the answer to if the characters are going to end up together—it’s usually expected that it’s going to happen in erotica—so what’s going to keep them reading after they just read the same setup and fuck in ten other short erotic fics?

Don’t make it easy for your characters. Put some very good walls up when it comes to them getting together, be it from physical conflicts to emotional ones. Make your reader wonder if even though those characters might have just had great sex, they still don’t know if they’re going to want to actually move in together. Give them a reason to keep reading to the end of the story.

Go big, bold, dramatic

Give them something epic that they can’t get in their own bedroom. This goes for what the sex consists of to the emotions and circumstances that go with it. There’s a reason alpha male and billionaire are big buzz words for many of these stories. Big sexual drives and big money. It’s like Cinderella but with hardcore sex. This is about creating a fantasy of sex, something that gets people beyond hot, not just lukewarm. So don’t be afraid to exaggerate beyond what normal hot blooded horny people can reach. It’s not a commentary on the idea that everyday, normal sex is boring and dull. It’s delving into a fantasy where your reader is allowed to indulge in what they’re probably never going to get in real life (unless there are werewolves and vamps out there I’ve yet to discover >_> )

Tie up the ending with relationship and plot conclusions

This not only satisfies your reader on a completely different level but it also just helps you end your story with ease. The question of if that sexual interaction is going to end, begin, cement a relationship should be answered, or at least insinuated at. Is your character scarred for life after their hypnosis and screwing? Did the planet survive the alien invasion? Your readers might be interested to know that life goes on beyond the peek into the scene. You don’t need to spell out all the details but you could if you’re floundering for a way to end your story.

I’m a fan of a happy ending—Yup, even with all the dubcon I write. I can read some really dark erotica just so long as I know the characters care about each other on some level. Some readers may not be so picky but they might still be curious. Satisfy their curiosity.

Fuel their fire

Sex it up. Why skimp? Make a habit of giving your reader plenty to indulge in when it comes to sweaty moments. If you’re not comfortable in writing elaborate sex scenes, I suggest doing the next best thing, which is building that sexual tension through the story. Foreplay—for the love of fuck, use it! XD Literal foreplay can build your reader up to your big scene so that once your characters are screwing, it feels a lot more epic than just another smut fic. The push and pull of the characters ‘should they,’ ‘shouldn’t they,’ can do a lot for a simple little story.

End it with sex

Give your reader a reason to read it all. If you really want people to read to the end of your story, let them know you’re going to follow through with something steamy and satisfying. I love sex at the end of a story. Even a taste is better than reading to the end and then feeling let down. It’s erotica. It’s a sexy story. There’s an unspoken expectation that a happy ending in this type of story is a bit more happier than other books if you get my drift. *eyebrow waggle* So give it up already. Don’t end with the loving couple driving off into the sunset, go a little further till they hit that honeymoon suite and start getting it on.

Now if you’re putting all your stories in the KDP program that doesn’t allow you to publish anywhere else while it’s enrolled, and where as a writer you just found out that one page of your book equates to less than ½ a penny, your 300 page book it took you how many months to write is only going to get you $1.50 if someone bothers to read it—and they have to read the whole thing. What better way to get someone to the end of your book than with something sexy lying in wait? This is the same for your short 50-page story you’re lucky to get 25 cents for even though you were so damn brilliant and had the best dialogue and took a week of your life to spend on. Give your reader a reason to want to read to the end.

Longer isn’t always better

How do you keep a reader interested; short refreshing bites or a long meal? Sometimes your reader is busy. Most of the time I am so freaking busy that even though I would love to indulge in some reading, I won’t even look at a novel no matter how good someone tells me it is because I don’t have the time to invest. I will give a short story a shot if it looks interesting and sexy enough, but if I’m ten pages in and nothing of curiosity or steam has occurred, I’m out. I was actually recently trying to get through a great sci-fi—no sex involved—the plot just seemed so damn amazing but the writing was so dry I couldn’t do it. I was genuinely upset that I couldn’t push through, but the author was writing through the eyes of a sixteen-year-old boy and sounded like he was fifty and boring as fuck. I couldn’t get to the plot because the style wasn’t engaging enough.

I won’t watch a video of a news article because I can read the damn thing faster. People are in a hurry. What the hell are you going to do to get them to stop and pay attention to you?

Sometimes you need to keep it short. I refuse to publish anything under 10,000 words—it’s just something I stick to. I feel like I need to give my reader a promise of substance even in my short stories. Still, I make sure those 10,000 words are jammed full of sexy and plot without dragging things out. We’re living in the world of television programs and web shorts. Most tv shows are designed so that people can get up or do chores while listening to them instead of giving them their full attention. I’ll be honest, I dumped the tv years ago. I watch Netflix on occasion, and I’m usually typing through the shows unless it’s something actually worth my time—Aka, British. And yes, I am at the point in my life when I feel like my time has actual value and I won’t waste it on half-assed plots and flat characters in a sitcom. I will make time to masturbate before wasting it on tv. My brain is important and I will rot it on some quality tv or nothing at all. My readers’ brains are just as important.

Now, you’ll get the occasional reader that will tell you that such a low word count isn’t worth the price. They’re probably used to reading long ass romance novels or for some reason they think what it takes to write something is the same as what it takes to read. It’s not, otherwise they would be writing that story they were looking for instead of quantifying a book by the number of pages instead of its content. $2.99 for a short story isn’t asking a lot—and as the writer, I don’t even get that, looking at more of $1-$2 after Amazon takes their cut. When you see a book for $0.99 you’re looking at someone that is either having a sale to gain viewers, someone that thinks they’re a terrible writer, or someone that doesn’t actually value their work. I don’t think you get over 30 cents when you sell your book that low. That would take 100 people buying your book just to make $30 bucks. Talk about crazy. Imagine getting 100 people interested enough to buy your book, only to make 30 bucks? Tragic.

Don’t undervalue your work just because some people can’t fathom 3 bucks for a short smutty story. Most people know that’s the normal price, and they’re more than happy to pay it, especially if you’re the type of writer that rewards their readers. (See what I did there? I went on a tangent and then brought you back to the title of the post… Oh, you got it… I wasn’t subtle… XD)

Love what you do!

Every story you put out there is, whether you realize it or not, is creating a relationship with your readers. That’s a huge thing because people are damn busy and we live in a world where it’s normal to jump from craze to craze without looking back. Being good to your readers gets you good things in return. If you’ve ever gotten a difficult critical review you’ll understand just how gratifying it is to have a loyal reader come along and dare to say how much they actually like your book. People may love to read about sex, but there are still a million shy people that can’t actually speak up about it. So in return, don’t half-ass your work.

If you want that awesome feeling of having a reader take the time to tell you how they really appreciate your different view on a smutty story, you need to put the work into it. I know there are plenty of people that are selling writing erotica as some quick fix get rich scheme, but I can’t imagine anyone writing every day while not loving what they’re doing. And really, as a reader myself, I can tell the difference. Authors that love what they’re doing have those really cool plot twists, they give their reader plenty of sex (because they freaking love sex!) and you can tell that their characters are more than just pawns in a scene, they’re living breathing people that are having experiences.

I’m drawn to authors that love what they’re doing and I think these are the writers that have the staying power to keep going. Because when shit gets tough, they still have that love for their craft, for the story they need to share and get out there. Don’t be afraid to love what you’re doing when you’re writing erotica. Don’t curb yourself for some market when you really want to write it differently. Being different in a sea of the same is a beautiful thing. Be beautiful.

Perfection: The #1 Creativity Killer

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Perfection = Procrastination

Give it up, or at least, reach for something more enjoyable in life. Because you can have those other things and they can be a lot more satisfying once you let go of the idea of being a perfectionist.

This isn’t an excuse to not edit and do your best to put out the best final product you can, more just an understanding of what happens when you focus so much on being perfect that you don’t do anything. I stress that. Many writers starting out focus so hard on making something absolutely perfect, they never get the fucking thing done.

I have obsessive tendencies, more neurotic than anything. I can spend hours staring at a computer screen drawing small perfect little lines to make fur look realistic, then go in and add small dots for the shadows and highlights of every single strand I just drew. I know what it’s like to get sucked into the micro and lose sight of the large, and although there are some beautiful meditative moments mixed in there, I tend to become a raving bitch after a few hours of it. If I did that with my writing, I wouldn’t write. It would destroy my happiness when I write to be happy.

The other part of this is just about accepting the reality that no matter how damn amazing and perfect you made your last story, it’s done and it’s time to write another one. This is commercial writing. There’s no point wasting an extra month on one story when you could have been cranking out a short series to put beside it. You’re only hurting yourself, and, may I be so bold, letting your creative skills go stale by not exercising new plots, new ideas, and concepts because you were once again hyper-focused on making the perfect story. There comes a point in this type of writing when it’s about learning how to conceive, outline, produce and publish a story, not just creating a masterpiece.

I’m pretty upfront—I’m relaxed with my writing. I like relationship drama, I like sexual tension, I like a lot of sex in a fic, and some interesting plot points, but I’m not writing the next hard-hitting social-political commentary. I’m writing a distraction for myself and for a lucky reader that may stumble across my story and be glad to have found it. This allows me to stay alive and enjoy what I’m doing—because so help me, if I stressed out on making art when it came to writing, not only would I be miserable trying to live up to some crazed internal pressure of perfection, the external critics would be even worse.

Bad enough to run across the grammar police while writing what I do—Imagine if I started selling myself as making hard-hitting, heartfelt, LGBT coming of age stories with gritty real life consequences? Fuck, just take all the fun out of it now. I already have those types of readers stumbling across my books flaming me for it not reaching their weird expectations even though I’m pretty clear in my summaries what my stories are about (sex and not much else.)

If I tried to write at that level, I’m pretty sure I’d be so bored I’d never finish writing a damn story, never mind want to read it. Because that shit bores me. I don’t want to read it and I don’t want to write it. Snooze fest. Add in some shit about balancing a BDSM lifestyle with a full, satisfying family life and perfect, amazing career and I’ll be standing on a ledge looking to jump before I have to read something so mundane. And yeah, I don’t care if other people do want to read that and people think I should write for my audience or what not—because all those people aren’t my audience. I wouldn’t have written anything if I was writing to fit that niche no matter how popular it may be.

Don’t let other people’s expectations define you and your choices. People hate themselves and they hate on other people with almost as intense a fervor as they direct inwards. But damn, if they put that energy towards just loving their life—Wow, what a world it would be. If you waste your time trying to please other people with your writing, the only guarantee you have is that you’re going to be unhappy in this journey you’ve chosen. And seriously, why the hell are you doing it if you’re not going to be happy? There are so many things in life we compromise on, why should our creative outlet be one of them?

I am not a perfectionist, but I still manage to write and publish books that I genuinely enjoy writing and some other people genuinely enjoy reading. You can’t write for everyone, don’t even try. You can’t make everyone happy, ever. But you can make one person happy this very damn instant. Yourself. Write something you want to write. Love it. Express the things you want to express and share it with the world, and my god, be shameless about it. Every time.

Don’t Give Up!

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A pep talk for those just getting started in writing Erotica

So you found the nerve to write something that really speaks to you on a sexual level. You broke down your emotional barriers, faced those uncomfortable fears and sensations, and finally wrote that fantasy that you’re always thinking about that just does it for you. Your stomach twisting in anxiety, you finally get the nerve to post it out into the cold, cruel world of the internet, knowing that someone, somewhere, is going to love your fantasy as much as you do. They might even pay a couple of bucks for it.

I’m going to tell you now, it’s going to hurt. Either the silence as you watch your story get read nearly 8,000 pages a day while no one has the guts, care, interest in actually pressing some stars. Or worse, when someone finally does speak up, but they’re actually really dickish and want to tell you how you suck. And let’s be clear, the person opening their mouth has never written a story and put it out on the internet. This is a fact because if they had they wouldn’t be such a douchebag to another author. They would understand how vulnerable and painful it can be to write erotica and they would press a few stars, maybe give some helpful advice or words of encouragement and be on their way.

So I have never read Twilight, or 50 Shades of Gray (Grey?) or pretty much any damn popular book out there in ages because for one, straight relationship. And two, I used to live with a bunch of cynical twenty-somethings that spent our days tearing people apart because they were there. In front of us. Having the gall to exist. Heaven help if they were happy at the time too. I was good at it; I have an amazingly sharp tongue and could go bitch so fast your head would spin. Then I grew the fuck up around the same time my parents died and I was homeless (funny that.) Now add the anonymous nature of the internet into the mix.

Bitch, please.

You’re a writer. You know how powerful words can be, and damn, they just don’t go away when they’re on the internet next to something you wrote. What that person might be tearing apart saying is juvenile, poorly written, full of mistakes, crap plot, creepy and wrong, whatever, you still poured all your hopes and dreams into. And yeah, maybe it’s not Falkner, but really, were they expecting Falkner when they read your description of two people fucking. Seriously?

Don’t give up. Don’t. Just don’t fucking do it. Continue reading →

Accuracy vs Titillation

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When I started writing Bullying Teacher 3 I came across a problem, one I’ve had in other medias but hadn’t quite identified quite so completely. Here I am, with no experience in the BDSM lifestyle, trying to write a story that is introducing someone to that lifestyle. Accuracy would seem to be the way to go, right? Wouldn’t as realistic a scenario as possible be as titillating as possible? I’m here to say no.

Not even a little.

Alright, so let’s jump out of it for a second and come at this sideways. What is a ‘scene’ in BDSM? It’s roleplay, a make believe where the players (ideally) are all informed about the rules to begin with. Let’s simplify it more. It’s Magic the Gathering, or Dungeons and Dragons, or so help me, Pokemon because that has cards too. People sit their butts down, write out a fantasy world they’re playing in, have one person be the mediator or head honcho running the show and remind them of the rules while everyone else gets to submerge into the game. But, when you look at fiction for these games, it’s not about them sitting around playing the game, establishing the rules, etc. It’s about a fantasy world with characters in it. No rules, no restrictions, no safe words or boundaries because that doesn’t exist in real life. In the real-life fantasy where it can be anything you write, safety is also an illusion.

Another more visual example. You’re drawing a dragon but the only thing you have for reference is a picture of a lizard. Yes, that lizard is as realistic, real world as possible, but it doesn’t matter how much you emulate it, it’s never going to look like a dragon without exaggeration. And yeah, it might end up looking like an amazing drawing of a lizard, but if you had pushed to make that dragon, it would have been damn kickass. But the only way to do it is to pull out of the rules of reality to exaggerate it enough to get the results you want in fantasy.

So why did this come up for this particular story? I remember hearing a lot of backlash in the BDSM community when 50 Shades of Gray came out—either movie or book (sorry, I haven’t had contact with either) saying how unsafe and dangerous the bondage had been portrayed. That stuck with me. I don’t want to write something for a specific community that will then turn around and go, hey, that’s not realistic or safe! That should be important, right?

Again, I’m now leaning towards no. Continue reading →

Flow and Pacing for Effective Emotional Writing

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I feel like this is something that really defines a good story but is rarely identified unless it goes wrong. And like the composition of a picture, it’s one of those skills that isn’t always easy to teach because it’s so subjective. How much do you pause in your reading when you come to a period? How about your friend; when they hit a coma do they pause just as long, or do they fly through them like they totally don’t exist? Why are pauses even important?

Part of good story telling is getting your reader to feel your story. You want their inner voice to be reading each word, not skipping, not stuttering, not running so fast ahead that they can’t slow down. How you present your story is going to enable that to go smoothly. But this is beyond punctuation. This is also your execution in general. A lot goes into this particular topic so I’m going to break it down into some key places where problems with flow arise the most.

Think of your story as a song. There’s a beat to it, a pulse, a melody where sometimes it gets louder, sometimes it gets softer, faster in some spots, slower in others. If you were to take a segment from the beginning of your story and compare it to a segment near the end, they could seem completely different. But when you read straight through, your story should be a whole being, one that evolves and changes, grows and ideally flows.

But a story doesn’t start finished. It’s actually made up of different plots, different characters, settings, and themes. These pieces flow through the entire piece, ebbing and growing, tangling to create your final entity. Continue reading →